the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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