if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
