Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
