I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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