So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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