Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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