I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
