Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
