Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
