And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Im part way to drunk.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
