and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
