i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
my liver is dry heaving
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
