he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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