Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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