no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She's the barista slut.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize