Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
