how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
