i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
