I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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