I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
