Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize