We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
