Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
