I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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