Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
