Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
