someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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