I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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