i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize