I'm really into asian looking animals
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
