WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
