You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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