I'm so fucking centered right now
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
