I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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