I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
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I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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