We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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