i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
