I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
no you cant smoke seaweed
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize