My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
