i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
