Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
