Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
