Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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