i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
