I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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