you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
