You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
