why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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