ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
