I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
