Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
