He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
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