her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
