Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize