Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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