I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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