Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Is it because I queefed?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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