Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
