seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
