Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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