belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
