so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
