Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Why is your signature on my underwear?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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