90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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