Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
