The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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