Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Yo dont text me then not text me
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
