Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
