you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize